Here’s a bit of tough love, bear with me: Stop thinking of yourself as somebody who doesn’t understand Mastodon. You’re better than that. This negative self-talk doesn’t help with anything. It’s not so hard, you just need to keep an open mind. Let me tell you what you need to know without forcing you to read words like “federation”.

TL;DR: Mastodon is like Twitter, the only thing that’s slightly confusing is the fact that you need to choose a server first. Choose a server, follow your friends (it doesn’t matter on which server they are) and soon you’ll have a timeline full of roughly tweet length content you can scroll through. Easy.